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Post by mrblasty on Oct 17, 2007 7:41:35 GMT -5
"After the unexpected drowning death of Pop, Kelloggs has announced that they have hired veteran cereal actor, Drag, to join Snap and Crackle as the Rice Krispies mascots. Drag recently starred as mascot for the failed frozen tv dinner, "Bacon Bits and Cigarettes".
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Post by pz on Oct 17, 2007 8:09:59 GMT -5
"Veteran cereal actor Drag died today when he was accidentally shot on the set of a commercial. First time director Blass Tee was arrested on charges of negligent homicide and poor taste in formal-wear."
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Post by mrblasty on Oct 17, 2007 8:50:07 GMT -5
"The investigation into the shooting death of Drag continued today. BlastT, in a swarn statement, told police that he was using the men's room, when a large, cartoonish shoe tapped him on the foot. Although he didn't see the occupant of the neighboring stall, he says the footwear was unmistakenly Drag's. He claims to have left for lunch upon leaving the restroom, and last that Drag was seen was in his trailer resting.
In other news, Drag is being implicated in the drowning death of Pop."
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Post by pz on Oct 17, 2007 9:30:49 GMT -5
"The Minneapolis Police have reported that Blass Tee has been put on suicide watch after he was found racing around his cell in circles screaming 'The party is over! The party is over! There won't be any hassle!'
"Also, actor Robert Blake has been arrested as a suspected accomplice in the drowning death of Pop, and it is quite possible that he and Blass Tee will hang side by side."
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Post by mrblasty on Oct 17, 2007 9:47:23 GMT -5
"Police are investigating a comment that Drag once made to Pop, in which he said "Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand".
Robert Blake claims that he was at the scene of Pop's drowning, but had nothing to do with it.
"There was milk all around, but Pop never learned how to swim now" he told police investigators."
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Post by pz on Oct 17, 2007 10:09:49 GMT -5
"Reports are now surfacing that just hours before he drowned, Pop was spotted in a bar fight with Robert Blake and Phil Collins, who'd accused him of shooting dirty pool. Blake was heard shouting 'I'm Barretta, dammit!'
"In related news, Blass Tee has decided to represent himself in court because, and I quote, 'It's going to take someone of true genius and taste to get me outta this one.'
"Assistant D.A. Jack McCoy was overheard stating, 'That Ukranian bastard's going down'."
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Post by mrblasty on Oct 17, 2007 11:00:35 GMT -5
"After an intense four hours of questioning by police, Robert Blake has confessed that he and Pop were romantically involved, and just that morning, Blake had tried to break it off.
'I told Pop that all I wanna do is drink Beer for breakfast. Pop stormed out angrily, and that was the last I had seen him until he showed up at the pool hall'.
Beer was unable to be reached for comment"
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Post by pz on Oct 17, 2007 13:02:45 GMT -5
"The twists just keep coming in this sordid tale:
"Autopsy reports show that before he drowned, Pop was poisoned with tainted nachos.
"Johnny Cochran has returned from the grave to help Blass Tee with his defense. The lawyer issued a statement: 'If he didn't poison Pop, the charges you must drop!'
"And finally, Slim Thompson has been brought in to replace Drag in the Rice Crispies line-up."
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Post by Kathy on Oct 17, 2007 13:05:57 GMT -5
"Traffic in downtown Gary, Indiana was unexpectedly conjested this afternoon, when a large spill at the upstream Viagra factory inadvertantly blocked vehicles from crossing the river.
Officials asked for motorists' patience, but after 4 hours, specialists were consulted to deal with the problem". We're not worthy, we're not worthy!
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Meri
First Class Scout
lalalalala...
Posts: 138
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Post by Meri on Oct 17, 2007 17:55:33 GMT -5
I have neither the imagination nor the PS skills of pz or BlastT, but I did find this somewhat almost kinda sorta vaguely Westerbergian entry at the always-entertaining stuffonmycat.com today:
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Post by pz on Oct 19, 2007 7:27:42 GMT -5
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Post by mrblasty on Oct 20, 2007 17:16:26 GMT -5
You ain't nuthin' but a .....
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Post by nowwesayitoutloud on Oct 21, 2007 22:19:17 GMT -5
This one is a retread from a couple years ago, but now there's a thread for it ...
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Post by nowwesayitoutloud on Oct 21, 2007 22:21:40 GMT -5
I have neither the imagination nor the PS skills of pz or BlastT, but I did find this somewhat almost kinda sorta vaguely Westerbergian entry at the always-entertaining stuffonmycat.com today: He never buys any Friskies?
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Post by bigbak on Oct 22, 2007 19:31:09 GMT -5
Thanks for the laughs! My day was shot until I read the last few posts!
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Post by pz on Oct 23, 2007 12:24:04 GMT -5
On sale this Friday at Borders Books:
An oral history of the legendary message board, with quotes from Hem41, Otto the Orange, Prozach and others.
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Post by pz on Oct 24, 2007 10:48:59 GMT -5
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Post by Man Who Never Learned to Fly on Oct 25, 2007 12:08:55 GMT -5
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Post by pz on Oct 25, 2007 13:46:07 GMT -5
seems like it's always cloudy in Westerberg...
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Post by pz on Oct 25, 2007 13:49:25 GMT -5
"Should we buy some more beer?""Can I use your hairspray?"...the other one in the gutter.
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